Dude, shut up!
— David
Character Gallery Appearances
David Quire

David Quire

June 10, 1963 (age 55)
Birth Place:
Indianapolis, Indiana
Jennifer Quire (wife)
Stephen Quire (son)
Jack Quire (other son)
Brandi Profitt (daughter)
First Appearance:
Watching Football, Mountain Dew, Swimming in his pool, Making Stephen learn his Lesson, Threatening Stephen with Actions, Not making Stephen get his way
Stephen's Bad Behavior, Family Drama, Not being able to catch up with Stephan while chasing him, Stephen destroying his guitar, Stephen getting Speeding Tickets, Being Stalked while in LA

David W. Quire (born June 10, 1963) is the father of Stephen Quire and Jack Quire. His first appearance was in "Greatest freak out ever".


David tends to deal with Stephen through actions instead of words, although he threatens Stephen on numerous occasions such as "I'm gonna kick your ass" or "I'm gonna rip your freaking face off", he is actually never seen attacking Stephen on camera. When it comes to everything else, he is calm and collected but when someone causes trouble (mainly Stephen) he starts to get angry and aggressive. He tries to help Stephen on occasions, such as when the boat owner threw Stephen into the water he rescues him. His voice was heard in the 1st episode when he told Stephen to shut up, then Stephen stopped yelling. He appeared in the 3rd episode, where he told Stephen that he paid $200 for the truck and tried to tell his son not to hit the truck, but Stephen smacks it roughly. He tries to stop Stephen from hitting the truck, but Stephen threatens to hit him as well.In the 7th episode, David saw that Stephen had broken the vacuum cleaner when he says "Oh, s***!" and follows up with "Boy, I can't watch football for an hour without you breaking s***?" Stephen replied "You think I care." David chases Stephen outside after threatening to attack him. Jack films the dog terrorizing Stephen. David tries to stop it, even though it isn't biting.

In the 14th episode, David tries to get Stephen to go in the swimming pool, but Stephen refuses. He berates Stephen for a few minutes.Then, he then gets impatient and pushes Stephen in the pool and dives in. Stephen splashes water on his face after he continued to screw around with him. Then, he tells Stephen to get out of the pool. Stephen throws chairs into the pool which injures David because he was stilI in the pool at the time. After Stephen storms off, he and Jennifer try to rearrange the chairs after Stephen threw them in the pool. In the 16th episode, he makes a cameo appearance where he is sitting down on the couch watching TV. In the 17th episode, he returns home and finds dishes laying in the garden. Jack tells him that Stephen is throwing dishes in the yard instead of putting them in the dishwasher. Stephen throws a toaster in the yard. David then begins chasing him. In the 19th episode, he is heard arguing with Stephen about him getting his third speeding ticket and tells Stephen to ride the bus, but Stephen says "Everyone who rides the bus is nasty" to which David replies "Well, you're nasty". Stephen carries on yelling and David tells him to get his butt up to his room. He is heard shouting when Stephen starts trashing his room. He is later seen trying to stop Stephen from stomping on Jennifer's scooter. In the 20th episode, he tells Stephen to chill out when he starts complaining and he rescues Stephen when he gets thrown off the boat because Stephen can't swim.

In the 21st episode, he is trying to drink a Mountain Dew, but Stephen starts throwing bags down the stairs and he gets angry. He gets a claw and clips Stephen's ear with it. Jennifer stops him a few minutes later, however. In the 24th episode, he is heard arguing with Stephen about Comic-Con and doesn't allow him to go because it is in California, which is 2,000 miles away from where they live and he doesn't want him driving the Batmobile up there. He gets annoyed with Stephen yelling at him so he ends up chasing him at the end. He appears briefly in the 25th episode where he tries to stop Stephen from having a fit on the parade float but Stephen starts throwing mats at him. In the 29th episode, he chases Stephen outside after he destroyed their room. He comes back into the house not too long after because he didn't put on any shoes or socks on while Stephen was still running and his feet go numb because it's too cold outside. In the 30th episode, he tries to stop Brandi from attacking Stephen because he pulled out his niece's tooth.


  • No, this kid, man, is just... well, what do you want to do go, play on the computer, is that what you want? Play on the computer. All goddamn day!
    "Greatest freak out ever 14"


  • David is the first to say "Dude, shut up!" in the background.
  • How the perfect David send his dog out to get his son back.
  • It is implied that David is a guitar player.