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This article is a transcript of the Greatest Freak Out Ever episode "Greatest freak out ever 13" from series, which was posted on April 7, 2011.


  • Jack: Okay, I'm in California and yesterday, I did an audition for a promo video for thehappiestcompany.com and they said I did pretty well. So, they had Stephen come back today and this is the audition.
  • Stephen: ...I don't know what you are saying.
  • Director Man: Okay, so, it's just three words, it's...
  • (Jack sets the camera seeing Stephen talking to the director.)
  • Stephen: Okay, yes. I know. It's, it's three frickin' words, you said that ten frickin' times. What are the words?
  • Director Man: Okay, let's... I-I-I can repeat it again. thehappiestcompany.com
  • Stephen: I don't know what you're saying. Mom, what is he saying?
  • Jennifer: thehappiestcompany.com
  • Jack: Stephen, seriously just do it.
  • Stephen: Nobody's talking to you, Jack! Why do you always have to throw your two-cents in?
  • Jennifer: He did it yesterday.
  • Stephen: (faces the camera) thehappiestcompany.com
  • Director Man: Okay, so any, uh, just like put it on, (grabs the Artist Laughter mask and hands it to Stephen) and repeat it again.
  • Stephen: No. (takes the mask) Okay, if you can't see my face, what's the point of me being here? I don't wanna be here in the first place.
  • Director: Yeah, I know, man, just like put it on and just say it.
  • Stephen: Oh, my god. (puts the mask on and faces the camera) thehappiestcompany.com
  • Director Man: Okay, also I'm not, yeah, let's move on. (Stephen takes the mask off) We have a slogan for our company, it's... (Stephen throws the Artist Laughter mask) Yeah, ju... just calm down.
  • Jack: Stephen, come on.
  • Stephen: You know he did that for a joke, right?
  • Jennifer: No, Jack did that yesterday.
  • Stephen: Yeah, and Jack's a, oh, okay, go.
  • Director Man: Just, a slogan, yeah, we are, the most positive company, uh, which makes people more happy.
  • Stephen: I don't know, I don't... I have.. I absolutely no idea what he is saying.
  • Jack: Stephen, he said "The most positive company that makes people more happy."
  • Director Man: Yeah, so this is idea for our company...
  • Jennifer: Just say it.
  • Stephen: No, I'm not saying that. That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life. I'm not saying that.
  • Director Man: Yeah, so, this is the idea of our company, so we are trying to make people better, we are trying to make people smile, we are try...
  • Stephen: I know, you said it 50 times.
  • Director Man: To, to, uh, to make the world better and stop the wars and everything, so this is the idea for our company and we just you, you to say, uh, the most positive company that makes...
  • Stephen: I'm not saying that.
  • Director Man: Yeah, this is a but, this is the idea for our company, and we don't care like, uh, black people or white people. Uh, what religion you have, or like let’s say, When you're straight and you're gay or something like that, or... (Stephen pushes the director down out of pure reaction)
  • Jennifer: (gasps) Ste...
  • Stephen: He pointed at me when he said gay!
  • Jennifer: No, he did... Oh, my god!
  • Jack: Stephen, he wasn't even talking about you.
  • Jennifer: Oh! (Stephen throws the chair on the floor.) 
  • Jack: Dude, Stephen, seriously you can't break their crap.
  • Jennifer: Steph...  (Stephen throws a box at a picture.) Oh, my...
  • Jack: Oh, my god!
  • Jennifer: Stephen, cut it out! (Stephen throws a water bottle at a picture.)
  • Jack: Stephen! (Stephen flips over a glass tray of shot glasses.)
  • Jennifer: Cut... Cut it, out!
  • Jack: Stephen, seriously stop.
  • Stephen: IT'S FREAKING BULLCRAP, THAT YOU LET PEOPLE TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! (throws the green vase downstairs)
  • Jennifer: Just, cut it... (The green vase can be heard shattering downstairs, and Stephen stomps a fan) Oh, my god. Alright, that, that's enough, Stephen.
  • Jack: Stephen, chill out!!!
  • Stephen: Get off of me! (Throws a water bottle and pushes a Christmas tree around the room and grabs a baseball bat behind it)
  • Jennifer: He was not calling... Oh, my god. Just... (Stephen hits a picture with a baseball bat.) Cut it out! Cut... sto... (Stephen rips the picture and smashes it with the baseball bat.) Stephen! Cut it out!! Give...
  • Stephen: I don't!
  • Jennifer: No! Give me...
  • Stephen: This is bullcrap!
  • Jennifer: Give me...
  • Stephen: Stay away from me!
  • Jack: Stephen, stop!!
  • Jennifer: Just give me the bat.
  • Jack: Oh, my god!
  • Jennifer: Oh, my god. (Stephen turns on and sprays the fire extinguisher outside the balcony.) Stephen.
  • Director Man: Ma'am, what is he doing?
  • Jennifer: I don't know. Yeah.
  • Jack: Stephen, stop! (Stephen chucks the fire extinguisher off the balcony) Put that crap down!
  • Jennifer: Jack, let's go. Let's go! Let's go! (Stephen further smashes the fan with the baseball bat.) Stop!
  • Security Guard: Hey, hey! Hey!
  • Jennifer: Stop! Oh! (Stephen pushes the security guard away.)
  • Security Guard: Hey!
  • Jennifer: Let's go, now!
  • Jack: Stephen!
  • Jennifer: Let's go. 
  • Stephen: (drops the baseball bat as he leaves with Jennifer.) WHY DO YOU LET PEOPLE TALK TO ME LIKE THAT?!
  • Security Guard: Hey!
  • Jack: (zooms the camera at the Happiest Company car.) Oh, my god.
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