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This article is a transcript of the Greatest Freakout Ever episode "Greatest freak out ever 14" from series, which posted on July 15, 2011.


  • Jack: Okay, we got a pool and my dad's trying to teach Stephen how to swim because, he has this terrible fear of drowning and uh, they're out now so I'm gonna see... what Stephen will do.
  • David: You have this thing for... You haven't been in it one time.
  • Stephen: Okay, but, no, I wanted, I didn't put a dollar towards it, so why do I have to swim in it?
  • David: That makes no difference. We got the pool for the family.
  • Jennifer: It's warm. Get in.
  • David: It's not, it's not even deep.
  • Stephen: Maybe you should have given me swimming lessons when I was a kid or something because I don't feel safe going in it.
  • David: Oh, please, man. It's not that deep.
  • Jennifer: It's, it's, it's really, really, warm. Get in.
  • David: It's not that deep.
  • Stephen: What does it have to do with it being warm?
  • David: It's not...
  • Stephen: I'm not going in!
  • David: Oh.
  • Jennifer: It only goes up to about your chest.
  • David: No, this kid, man, are just... well, what do you want to do, play on the computer, is that what you want?
  • Stephen: Yeah, pretty much.
  • David: Play on the computer.
  • Stephen: Yeah, well the computer can't kill me.
  • David: All goddamn day! That's what you do.
  • Stephen: Yeah, well the computer can't kill me.
  • David: Suns out, let's get in the freakin' pool!
  • Stephen: No, no, no.
  • Jennifer: Get a suntan.
  • Stephen: Why do I want a suntan, who do I... who am I trying to impress with this?
  • David: It doesn't have anything...
  • Jennifer: I don't know, but it you just look better when your all tanned.
  • Stephen: I don't want sun.
  • David: It doesn't have anything to do with it. (Pushes Stephen into the pool)
  • Jennifer: Oh!!
  • Jack: (Laughing)
  • Jennifer: Dave, oh, my god! What are you... (Stephen splashes and flails around) Stephen! Stephen!!
  • Jack: Stephen, it's like 4 foot of water. (David jumps into the pool with Stephen)
  • Jennifer: It's not deep.
  • Stephen: You're such a dick!
  • Jennifer: It's not even deep. How can you be... get going. (David tries helping Stephen, but Stephen leaps up and down like a dolphin)
  • Jack: Ha, ha!
  • Jennifer: I told you, it's not deep.
  • Stephen: GET AWAY FROM ME! (splashing David)
  • Jennifer: There, see?. It's not even deep.
  • David: Get your ass out now. (Stephen swims to the edge of the pool, albeit not the correct way of swimming) Get your ass out of the pool.
  • Jennifer: It's warm, just get back in. (Stephen starts to trash the poolside furniture) Cut it out.
  • David: I get so tired of this s***. Wha...
  • Jennifer: Just get... oh! (Stephen throwing 2 pool chairs at his dad in the swimming pool)
  • Jack: AH, HA, HA, HA.
  • Jennifer: Oh, my god! Alright, that's it.
  • Jack: Oh, my god!
  • Stephen: SCREW... (Giving his dad 2 middle fingers) YOU!!
  • David: What are you do, trying to drown me?!
  • Stephen: SCREW YOU!
  • David: What the hell is wrong with you, boy?!
  • Jennifer: Oh, my god.
  • David: You threw that right on my head!
  • Stephen: I'm not a freakin' fish, I don't need to swim!
  • Jennifer: Are you alright?
  • Stephen: Screw you!
  • David: Better get your ass outta here, I'm gonna kick your ass.
  • Jack: (little laughing)
  • David: Yeah, you better get your ass outta here.
  • Jennifer: It's warm, why didn't he come back?
  • David: I'm done.
  • Jennifer: So why did you push him in?
  • David: Because he needed to get in.
  • Jennifer: Well... pushing out.
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