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This article is a transcript of the Greatest Freakout Ever episode "Greatest freakout ever 19" from season, which posted on December 3, 2011.


  • Jack: Okay, Stephen got a speeding ticket today. For the 3rd time in 6 months, and my parents are pissed. My mom’s gonna take his keys away.
  • David: You got another ticket.
  • Stephen: No!
  • Jennifer: Stephen, how fast were you going?
  • Stephen: I don't know.
  • David: It doesn't even matter.
  • Jennifer: Where are they at?!
  • David: We're gonna lose our freakin'... We're gonna lose everything.
  • Jennifer: That's 3...
  • David: We're gonna lose our insurance... everything.
  • Jennifer: That's 3 tickets. In 6 months.
  • Stephen: They're all wrong!
  • David: Well...
  • Stephen: They are wrong!
  • Jennifer: That's less than 6 months.
  • Stephen: They... are... wrong!
  • Jennifer: You're not driving anymore.
  • David: You're not driving now! You know what, you'll ride the bus! You'll ride the freakin' bus.
  • Jennifer: No.
  • Stephen: No!
  • David: Your car is gone.
  • Stephen: I'm not riding the bus!
  • David: Your car is gone.
  • Stephen: No!!
  • David: Yeah, you ride the bus.
  • Stephen: No!!!
  • David: You ride the bus!!
  • Stephen: No!! Everyone who rides the bus is nasty!
  • David: Well, you're nasty.
  • Stephen: No, I'm not!
  • David: What kind of dumb ass gets 3 tickets?
  • Jennifer: Where's your keys?
  • David: What kind of dumbass gets 3 tickets?
  • Stephen: I'm not telling you where my keys are at because I know you'll take 'em.
  • Jennifer: You're not, you're not leaving this house. That means no going to the gym, that means no, no, nothing.
  • David: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
  • Jennifer: You're gonna ride the bus to school.
  • David: Yeah. Yeah, the title for the car is in mom's name.
  • Stephen: I DON'T CARE!
  • David: I want the keys now!
  • Stephen: I... DON'T... CARE!
  • David: Get your ass... Get your ass up to your room! Get up!
  • Stephen: WHY!
  • David: I don't like you to get...
  • Stephen: WHY!
  • Jack: Let's see what he does.
  • David: Get your ass up to your room.
  • Jennifer: I want your keys...
  • Stephen: No!!
  • David: You...
  • Stephen: You can't have 'em.
  • (Jack sets his camera down onto his brother's top drawer)
  • David: Get in now. Dumbass!
  • Stephen: You can't have them. (Jack scatters from Stephen's room)
  • David: Oh, you've gotta start so much s***!
  • Stephen: (Yelling at and scaring Jack away) GET AWAY!
  • David: The hell's wrong with you?
  • Stephen: Jack's creeping up there.
  • Jennifer: I want those keys!
  • Stephen: NO!!! I don't care if you want them, you can't have 'em!
  • David: Stephen...
  • Stephen: (Starts ripping his 2 50 cent posters and flailing them in the air) NO!!!!!!! YOU ARE NOT TAKING MY CAR AWAY FROM ME! YOU ARE NOT TAKING IT AWAY! (lifts up the bed mattress with Herculean-esque strength) AAH!!!!!!! GOD!!!!!!! (tries to play drums on the wooden door)
  • David: The hell are you doing?! (Stephen throws down an orange Target chair) HEY! HEY!!!!!!
  • Stephen: (throws a baseball bean bag chair at the wooden door, and almost opens it) YOU ARE NOT TAKING IT AWAY FROM ME!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!! (takes off his sweat shirt and opens the door) YOU ARE NOT FREAKING DOING THIS TO ME! I'M 18 YEARS OLD!!! I DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS, I'M 18! (despite the fact that he's acting like a 3 year old)
  • Jack: (runs back to Stephen's room while laughing and rummages through the wreckage to get his camera from the top of the drawer) Oh, my god! Why is his bed on the ground?! (goes downstairs) Oh, my god! (laughs and opens the door to the garage, while Stephen is trying to ride his mother's scooter) Stephen, what are you doing on your mom's scooter?
  • Stephen: If she won't let me drive my car, I'll drive her crap, then!
  • Jack: No! Stephen, you can't have that.
  • Stephen: Yeah, I can!
  • Jack: STEPHEN! Stop. why is your shirt off?!
  • Stephen: Shut up.
  • Jack: Why are you going so slow? What?!
  • Stephen: They can't do anything about it.
  • Jack: There goes Stephen. (Stephen goes behind a bush, and falls off the scooter) OH, MY GO... HA, HA! (Stephen starts stomping on his mother's scooter) Oh, my god!
  • David: I'll make a man outta you! (starts chasing Stephen and Jack is still laughing)
  • Jack: Oh, my g...
  • Stephen: AAAAAAAAH! DAD!!!
  • Jennifer: What are you do...
  • Jack: Uh, ha, ha!
  • Jennifer: Oh, my... Jack, shut that camera off. Shut it off.
  • Jack: Oh, my god!
  • Jennifer: Give me... (Takes Jack's camera) Give me the camera.
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